I am always mean
And hardly ever clean
I smell sour
I don’t watch the hours
I dress wee ones in a line
I am never ever on time
I am under duress
and most definitely underdressed
No one waits on me
Pause, break, someone has to pee
Now they are playing
Back to what I was saying
I am tired
I want to be fired
For a week, maybe two
Then I wouldn’t be changing poo
I wouldn’t be washing the toilet
Leftover food- I wouldn’t have to foil it
None of them have acquired the skill of listening
Right now I’m thinking of an ocean glistening
From a big mess they get a thrill
Nothing is more fun than a giant spill
That concludes breakfast
With one always finishing the meal last
The war begins with the baby’s bath
While the big ones start math
The baby went in the tub
so diligently I scrub
Chasing them down requires many a lap
It is time for an afternoon nap
The older ones are doing lessons
With the short one having many questions
I pass around a snack
Hey your brother doesn’t deserve a smack!
They struggle through language arts
Each reading different parts
Finally we get to wrap it up
Starving ready for some sup
I fry some meat and potatoes
Yeah, I know some of you hate those
As I load a machine full of dishes
A big part of me wishes
I was on a cruise
Instead of inspecting a new bruise
When I said get down from there
You found out I wasn’t full of hot air
I meant what I said
but you tumbled & bumped your head
Now you are whining at my feet
Making it difficult to sweep
You start to scream
When dad says it time to dream
As I tend to the dryer beeping
You are still not sleeping
I take you back to bed
It is the nighttime I dread
You are thirsty and hungry
I shouldn’t but I agree
To a glass of water and a treat
All five of you have me beat
I am totally exhausted
In this situation I am the hostage
I don’t like to wear this frown
But if you would just let me lie down
So I can get up early the next morn
and get the coffee pourin’
I need my java strong
To last all day long
Because as you say
When I wont let you have your way
I am always mean……………………….
Don’t worry folks
This is all fun and jokes
I know no other
could be my children’s mother
VIA Kristi Wilson Feb. 2011 .....Copy my stuff n I'll shank ya!
I have seven children now. My new baby is a shining star. She is beyond anything I could have imagined. I thought we wouldn't be happy, but I was totally wrong. My six month old get so excited, she buries her head in a blanket and giggles. Love is truly infinite. I'm still not perfect. I grumble at my husband of 17 years when I'm up at 4am (like now) to make a fresh bottle. When I fully wake, it's all kisses and "who is a princess". Until then do not approach me. I'm a baby expert at this point. I can prep bottles, change two diapers, and make breakfast in 30 minutes. [To be honest I cheat meals. Half of the family's meals are cooked on Sunday. I don't prep lunch. Honestly, we don't eat three times a day. We tried the traditional meal plan, but everyone was bursting!] Lunch now means yummy fruits/veg/sammies/low sugar yogurt.
I recently found out I'm a "crunchy" mother. I refuse to use formula, even though I can't breastfeed (not a cop out, disfigured mammies, it's a thing). Also, medicines are prescribed much too often. I like natural remedies. I even shaved my children bald for a bout of lice, from a sleep over with school children. I read the bottle, no thank you on pesticides seeping into their skin. I read food labels. I'm not insane about food ingredients, but if I can't say it, we do not eat it. Well, I wanted to give my favorite mommy hacks, but the baby needs me...quickly: Vicks vaporizor works as a bottle warmer and put dryer sheets in your vacuum exhaust to freshen up the house..... TBC
